1. If my 20-year-old self met me now, she’d probably wonder what the hell happened.
2. It took me this long to realize how exceedingly shallow my 20-year-old self was.
3. As a young girl, my biggest dream was to have a warm and happy family life with a minimum of drama. So far, so good.
4. I am deeply in love with my best friend.
5. I really do judge people when they use poor grammar, spelling, and punctuation. If those people are in the business of education or advertising, my head threatens to actually explode right off the top of my neck. (YES, I used an Oxford comma. What of it?)
6. I’m a good cook. (So they tell me.) One of the greatest pleasures in life is watching others enjoy a meal that I’ve prepared.
7. I moved out of my parents’ home when I was seventeen.
8. I use sarcasm and humor as a defense mechanism way more than I should.
9. I’ve grown to hate housework, but the Hubster kind of digs it, which is fairly high on the list of reasons why #4 is a reality.
10. Despite having a decent vocabulary, I employ obscenities on a regular basis. I need to work on that.
11. I suck at poker and I can’t shoot pool to save my life. This bugs me because I happen to think chicks who are great at poker and pool are usually pretty hot.
12. My daughter, Lindsay, embodies the exact vision I had in mind when I prayed for her safe arrival. She’s like Scout Finch only better. I love that she never takes crap from anyone.
13. My youngest son, Lucas, always sees the best in others and his heart is bigger than anyone I know. He never fails to cut me to the quick with his ability to point out injustice or apathy or meanness in the world.
14. My middle son, Dylan, has the ability to make me laugh like no other person I know. He’s the wittiest guy on the planet and also the gentlest. He challenges me regularly because he never takes anything at face value. He analyzes everything.
15. My eldest son, Mitchell, in the next few months, will graduate from college and get married. Despite the fact that he hasn’t lived lived at home for several years, it freaks me out that he’s really grown up. That oldest one changes your whole existence, ya know?
16. Everyone in my family thinks I’m much smarter and stronger than I really am. I’m neither strong nor smart. Every day is just an exercise in trying not to fail. Also? Just because I’m blunt and abruptly decisive doesn’t make me the go-to person in emergencies. I’m screaming on the inside.
17. I would like to publish a novel one day.
18. I’m embarrassed that I have to rack my brain to come up with six more interesting facts.
19. I’d rather not think about the reality that the previous 18 facts may only be interesting to me.
20. Teaching English or Spanish in a high school classroom used to be a goal of mine. Now I’m not so sure teaching is for me.
21. Almost every single morning since my parents died, I’m awakened by a nightmare that leaves me shaking. I can’t remember the dream, but I know I’m getting pretty damn tired of it.
22. Does anyone really think that these “things” are random? I’m getting a bit ferklempt coming up with this stuff.
23. I’d love to say I read voraciously (which is true) but I also watch reality television voraciously and I’m not really that ashamed that I do, even though those shows are shallow and exploitative.
24. I’m blessed with wonderful in-laws. Especially the out-laws. I feel sorry for folks who don’t get along with their spouse’s family. That must suck.
25. After I finish this little introspective activity, I’m going to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.